iM Not All Here
by FreaKyJealousoveralLyCalm4
Summary: Sam Puckett feels very lost and depressed. But she refuses to tell her friends this and display weakness. Will Carly be able to help her? Or will Sam be trapped with her pain forever?


FreaKyJealousoveralLyCalm4

We all know iCarly is a _realistic _fiction comedy. But what if it was even a little… more realistic? This fanfiction is going to be the same iCarly characters, except their personalities are being updated to the present cliques of society.

Also, a billion times thank you to _kayla-twilight_ for writing the story _Sam's Life_; it gave me tons of early inspiration.

Disclaimer: I do **not** own iCarly; the plot is completely mine.

i'M Not All Here:

Chapter One: Where's Sam?

It was around 9:30 p.m. and Carly Shay, Sam Puckett, and Freddie Benson were sitting on the couch with Spencer Shay nearby. They were doing what they'd been for the past few days, watching a stupid TV show that mocked celebrities, other TV shows, movies, practically anything.

Female TV announcer: _Kylie Stanley had been known as Muffy Kentucky ever since her family moved out of their small town in… Nebraska. But when Muffy's secret is revealed what will happen? Especially when the evidence points to her two best friends, Millie and Javier?_

Kylie (said with over the top country accent): _"How could you guys do this to me?"_

Millie: _"Kylie! Why don't you believe us?" _(Dramatic crying)

"Why do we, watch this everyday? It's so stupid!" Carly said laughing slightly.

"Because it's funny," Freddie said.

"I'm bored," Spencer complained.

"I want to go bed," Sam said suddenly.

"Sam, are you feeling okay?" Carly asked, ignoring her brother's earlier comment.

"You asked me that yesterday," Sam said with a sigh.

Sam felt guilty when she saw Carly's expression change from concern to fear.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sam lied.

Carly nodded even though she didn't really believe Sam.

"Freddie, I'm gonna go talk to Sam," She whispered.

"Okay," Freddie whispered back. He only partially paid attention because he was distracted by the TV.

"Where's Sam?" A panicked Carly said suddenly.

* * *

><p>Sam's POV:<p>

I'd known my best friend, Carly, would notice something was up with me, but I just couldn't take being out there anymore.

Lately, odd as it was, I hadn't felt like eating much or staying up. All my thoughts were mixed up in a huge jumble.

My dad had all of sudden showed up again. And guess who wasn't even there to see him? My mom. She was out with her new boyfriend. But it was only partially my dad that caused me stress, the other part was… Freddie. I don't know when it was exactly, but I just all of a sudden fell in love with Freddie. I started to like him that night when we'd first kissed, but I'd never told him.

Plus, to keep myself from liking Freddie I'd pretended that I'd had a crush on Spencer. The bad thing is I pretended so well that… I did start to have a crush on Spencer.

Along with all of this, Carly seemed to be the only one who noticed anything was wrong with me. I didn't want anyone to notice, but I did want them to care.

These thoughts rampaged through my head, while I was locked up inside Carly and Spencer's bathroom...cutting my arm. Blood gushed from it fast and thick. I stared at it, letting the blood run down my arm into the sink's drain. I had intended to continue doing this until I heard…

"Where's Sam?"

So, once again Carly, and only Carly, had noticed I was…gone.

I started to cry, because of this, and it blended with the blood, because I was directly over my arm. It hurt, but the pain was nothing compared to the panic I would have if Carly found me.

So, I quickly patched up my arm with _a lot_ of big band-aids for the time.

After this, I quickly texted Carly: I'm n the bthrm Carlys

I hadn't really been sure if I should call her Carly or the more affectionate Carls. I had sort of ditched her after all, but my fingers, which had been near the y and s, decided for me and pressed both along with send.

She wrote back: Huh?

Me: I mnt Carly

Carly: Oh

Me: I'm n the bthrm

Carly: Well hrry up bcuz Spncr and Frdi r b in…

Me: OK

I tried to get myself to stop crying with a pep talk.

"You are Sam Puckett," I said to my reflection. "And you don't…" I cracked on don't and began crying again.

I didn't even know how I would have finished that statement. You don't: fall in love? Cry? Ditch your friends? Act like a sap.

I sucked in my sniffles, dabbed at my face, and went back to the living room to face my friends.


End file.
